Archives For life

Nosy Neighbor

Mary Liz Ingram —  June 5, 2013 — 2 Comments

Staring seems to accompany boredom.

We have a very wee little house, and I’ve been in it with three kids for quite a few days in a row. They play, we have “dance parties,” they go in the back yard, the front yard, we chill, we eat, we draw…but like I said, it’s a small space for busy little people.

The cat and I find ourselves gazing out the window. We see the busy, worm-searching birds, the neighborhood cats languidly crossing the road; we see our neighbors take their dogs for walks, people coming and going, weeding gardens, washing cars. We look at the blue hydrangeas drooping in the heat, and I go out to water them.

Real Simple articleI read an article the other day, while lounging in my window-side leather chair, as the baby napped and the kids played. It was about being privately vs. publicly alone…interesting little snippet. It says “To be privately alone can be difficult, because wherever we go, there we are, yammering away at ourselves,” i.e. driving ourselves crazy. Moping, getting grumpy, worrying, thinking about problems and to-do lists. (Also, being jealous and missing your husband while he’s on an exotic trip.)

The author recommends “mindfulness, a practice that sounds esoteric but simply means focusing on what’s around you instead of the chatter in your head.” 

So I decided to stop wallowing, and soak in my surroundings: my sweet kids, even when they’re squabbling; the sound of “Mama” coming from my baby’s room as she wakes; the beauty of the tree in my yard, the quiet sounds drifting through my screen door.

Life is very good. And Daddy is on his way home.

Nosy Neighbor, 8x8 pastel on card

Nosy Neighbor, 8×8 pastel on card

For the fourth or fifth day running, I was in a foul mood.

I raise a glass to the single parents out there, because my temporary single-parenting has kicked my booty. I salute you. It is hard, lonely and exhausting. 

This string of strange, colorful barnyard beasts have been my unexpected therapy over this past week, letting my frustrations and irritations transfer from my mind to the paper. I have a solemn blue cow, a mellow purple pig, a feisty orange hen, and now a green billy goat.

This bearded fellow is quirky and odd, and I have to say I’m a little startled that I created a weird green goat. But hey, that’s what came out today. I was feeling some ugly emotions, and my almost creepy little friend told the story. I don’t mean for him to be creepy…he’s really a cute little goat until I turned him green.

As I repeatedly tell my kids: The good thing about art is that you can do whatever you want. 

You too can draw a green goat when you’re in a bad mood.

"What's Got Your Goat," or "Green with Envy," 8x8 pastel on card

“What’s Got Your Goat,” or “Green with Envy,” 8×8 pastel on card

Mother Hen

Mary Liz Ingram —  June 3, 2013 — Leave a comment

I woke up early to the sound of the baby crying, impatient to be lifted from her crib and deposited into her high chair for some Cheerios. The other two were scurrying around in their pjs, building legos and sewing felt animals, asking for their breakfast.

I stumbled my way to the kitchen for some coffee, and had one of “those” moments: where everything feels like Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.

All I heard was “Mommy, mommy, mommy” and I felt really tired. 

For some reason, colorful barnyard animals have been popping into my head at these moments of heightened “sensitivity,” we might say. And this morning, as I sipped my coffee, I thought of a bright orange mother hen and her chicks.

A protective, attentive mother, a bit tired, perhaps letting out a sigh during a moment of weariness. Warm and cozy, but feeling a little irritable.

Well…that description came to me after I drew it. My first thought was of a tired, grumpy chicken.

I ADORE my children. They are unique, precious and beautiful to me, and I devote my life to their happiness, well-being and care with all my heart…

But, occasionally, a mom feels grouchy about being a mom, at least for a moment. And it’s okay.

We shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling like it’s Groundhog Day, when the cycle repeats and beats us down. We still gladly protect our little chicks– we still fix their breakfast, comb their hair and smother them in love and kisses.

The weariness passes quickly, and balance is restored…

Mother Hen, 8x8 pastel on card

Mother Hen, 8×8 pastel on card

The Blues

Mary Liz Ingram —  June 1, 2013 — 3 Comments

Sometimes it’s just one of those days…

Moping around, I was feeling blue. It was evening, I was trying to be “nice mommy” and put everyone to bed with a gentle smile despite my cranky blues. Grrrr.

So I went into my art room and drew a blue cow.

After posting him on Facebook, a few comments about his expression showed how much he reflected my mood. My dear friend Carl wrote: “Love the look in Big Blues eyes! He looks like he’s daring you to cross him!” Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Big Blue, 8x8 pastel on card

Big Blue, 8×8 pastel on card

So the next night, I was less grumpy and feeling more like throwing myself a pity party. Poor me, pitiful tired me…

My pity party lasted for a few minutes. I told myself to get off my booty and to stop wallowing.

Which made me think of a purple pig.

Not sure why I’m drawing these colorful farm animals, a la The Wizard of Oz’s horse of a different color, but I’m just going with it. It’s kinda fun.

So I drew a purple pig. And, as with the blue cow, I feel better now. Thanks, pig.

Stop Wallowing, 8x8 pastel on card

Stop Wallowing, 8×8 pastel on card

Mr. Bean

Mary Liz Ingram —  May 31, 2013 — 1 Comment

toasted donuts, original photographySo I’ve had quite a few days on my own with the kids. I congratulate myself for successfully ending each day with everyone happy and whole by treating myself to a dessert or (oftentimes and) a glass of white wine. After a day of many doings, the house is always very quiet. All my little peeps are asleep, and it’s just me and the cat (my Dad might say, correcting my grammar, “The cat’s not mean.” But I think “me and the cat” sounds more fun than “the cat and I,” and on here I can write how I want. So there.).

It’s quiet. And a little boring.

So here’s a jaunty little poem to describe and illustrate the odd things that may or may not occur on such an evening:

Twas the night with just mommy, the toys put away, successfully living to the end of this day

The children were snuggled up tight in their beds, as visions of Scooby Doo danced in their heads

I on the couch in my pjs at 8:00, settled in with a blanket and dessert on a plate

I’d puttered about like a little old granny, and hummed and muttered and sat on my fanny

I had been in the kitchen preparing my snack, and was struck by a thought as sharp as a smack 

I was making odd noises in a sort of narration, excited by donuts, a cause for elation

When it hit me that in this sad humorous scene, I sounded a lot like the man Mr. Bean

Well the noises stopped there, and I went to the couch, I tried to sit up instead of assuming the slouch

“I’m a 31 year old woman,” I said in my head, and though I may not want to go paint the town red

I can hang onto my dignity and hold my head high, then I ate my three donuts without even a sigh.

Toasted Donuts, ink sketch

Toasted Donuts, ink sketch

The Siege

Mary Liz Ingram —  May 19, 2013 — Leave a comment

Once upon a time, down the hill and around the curve, there lived a small woman in a castle of painted brick and siding. As the flowers bloomed brightly and the vines curled gently up the wall, the woman prepared for her day of honor: a day when the small folk in her care brought tokens of love, thanks and devotion for her days of tireless service.

The woman, who thought herself queen over her realm, received gifts of breakfast, priceless art, blossoms and praise as she reclined on her pillowed throne. The sun lit her day, as the small ones brought smiles into her presence.

Later in this day of tribute, the tides began to turn. There was a shift in the small folk’s demeanor.

Thus began the siege.

It began with a small rebellion by a 5-year-old boy, who called strike upon his labors. No laundry would he fold, no dishes would he put away, no rooms would he clean! He attacked the firm walls of authority with persistent whining, crying and the stomping of feet.

The woman, adept at handling unruly charges, placed him calmly in the corner of reflection until he relinquished his fight. As she took on his labors and folded the clothes of the residents, the boy continued his barrage of shrill protest, chipping rhythmically against the walls of her patience.

Fighting back against the siege, the woman hummed calming melodies as she attempted to retain her stalwart composure. But the battery did not cease.

Hours later, the dinner bell announced the time to serve the feast. The woman, offering treasures of coin to the oldest small one, farmed out the undone chores to the responsible peasant. Meanwhile, a tiny villager ransacked the palace kitchens, scattering plates and bowls all over the dirty floor. The boy continued his attack with tears and the gnashing of teeth, wearing down the resolve of the barely-standing battlements. Continue Reading…

Soundtrack to Art

Mary Liz Ingram —  May 8, 2013 — 2 Comments

Back in the day, I might have made an Art Mixtape. It would’ve been awesome. I would have made several to keep on hand and pop in “ye old tape player” as needed: a mixtape for those days of “Existential Flu“; a mixtape for those productive days full of eager creation and purpose; a mixtape for days spent drawing cotton fields and pigs.

Mix TapeFor me, art and music go hand in hand. I can draw and create with children on my back, showing me lego creations and spilling paint, as long as I have music to help me ride me above the chaos. Music imbibes life into each stroke of my pastel. It helps me work quickly and, well, musically; loose and free marks are capable because music carries my thoughts and keeps me relaxed.

Music gives expression to complicated thoughts. As I look back on the soundtrack of my life, I can associate songs with different phases. Songs of searching and even despair when I was trying to find my way in the world; songs of triumph and energy when I’d found a path to follow; songs of ease and depth when my life feels full and rich.

What songs are on your playlist? What music gives expression to your life? What music aids you in your art?

 

Here are a few of my current choices:

The Lumineers, Mumford & Sons… for those much-needed “art days,” when I am free to create as I choose

The Alabama Shakes… when I want to relax

Old Crow Medicine Show & Johnny Cash… for those pigs, cows and cotton bolls

Some past choices that have run their course, but you never know if they may see a resurgence: Norah Jones, Coldplay, Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, Madeleine Peyroux, classical piano

 

He was full of emotions struggling for expression…

The Survivor, E. Phillips Oppenheim

 

Some of my art inspired by song: 

Dancing in Clover, ink sketchLovely Girl

The Honeysuckle Vine

Carousel

Dancing in Clover

You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, for especially in the month of June. There’s a wealth of happiness and romance, all in the golden afternoon. … 

-Alice in Wonderland

Honeysuckle Vine, Ink and Pastel Pencil sketch on paper

Honeysuckle Vine, Ink and Pastel Pencil sketch on paper

A quiet Saturday in May, we decided to take a stroll through the neighborhood. Our boy on his bike, Spiderman helmet secured; our eldest first trying out her roller skates, then after squeals and crashes, switching to her bike, sans training wheels; the baby in her stroller until Mommy’s hip sounded like such a better place to ride; Daddy helping the cyclists-in-training.

Golden Afternoon, original photography

The sun shining golden through the shade trees, heavily laden with rich green leaves, adds warmth to the unusually cool Spring day in Alabama. We wind our way in an unplanned pattern through the web of streets and sidewalks. As we’re admiring the fresh cut grass of a friend’s home, half-jealous as ours is still in need of a trim, a sweet scent teases our senses. Briefly caught on the soft breeze, the smell conjures immediate memories of childhood. For a moment, we are all enveloped in a completely carefree moment, gathering around the happily discovered honeysuckle vine, relishing the tiny drops of nectar that hide inside each flower.

A song floated into my mind on the tails of the honeysuckle vine, and I slowly spun and danced down the street singing it to my giggling dimpled baby girl, as the big kids successfully pedaled home. I noticed a neighbor on a porch mid-(not-so-graceful)- spin and, I’m sure, badly sung version of the Alice in Wonderland tune, but I shrugged off any embarrassment and continued our freely twirling walk home, experiencing for a moment that pure, open and innocent enjoyment of all the good things in life.

 

What’s the point?

Mary Liz Ingram —  April 28, 2013 — 3 Comments

“Ah, ignore me. I’ve got a touch of existential flu”  –Inspector Lewis, “Soul of Genius”

Every now and then I have a bout of artists angst.

The Point, original photographyMy creations seem worthless, foolish, juvenile attempts. I ponder questions of the meaning of life, of my daily doings. I wonder internally and externally “What’s the point of it all?”

After purposed distraction away from my “existential flu,” I am able to reflect upon firmer footing. I hear quiet, in-progress answers.

The point of art, of “platform-building,” of more Twitter followers, more Facebook likes, more blog subscribers, art shows…well, of everything really…the point of it all is to share.

At least to me, at least today.

Sometimes our efforts are directed toward success: fame and fortune. Probably not gonna happen. I honestly can’t name a single “famous” living artist. I can name successful, well-known local artists, or respected artists in this particular group or that. But an overarchingly world-famous modern day artist? Not your household name.

Hoping for posthumous fame? It could happen…but why strive only for such a slim, seriously almost impossibly slim, chance? Not my goal… (I mean, hey, if I turn out to be amazing and take the world of art by storm, and am remembered throughout future history, I won’t complain).

Fortune? I sell art  in a satisfying amount, at what I hope are reasonable, accessible prices… Not seeking my fortune.  (yes, I have a day job, as most artists do…)

At this point in my life, the point of my strivings are to collect and share.

To collect pieces of beauty, depth, purpose; to evoke memories, some form ofgoodness, to encourage reflection and change, to share truths small and large as I find them.

It may sound mushy; “sentimental hogwash,” if you will. But I think it is a worthy endeavor.

I think this “point of it all” can be applied everywhere in life. To share what we can with our fellow beings. To share support with those who need it, to foster environments of safety & respite where it is lacking. To share peace & beauty when things seem dim, to share some sort of goodness in a world that holds on to much pain. To share a presence and an understanding that life is not easy, and you are not alone.

“We’re all in this thing together
Walkin’ the line between faith and fear
This life don’t last forever
When you cry I taste the salt in your tears”
-Old Crow Medicine Show

It seems to be a normal part of life that days never proceed as planned.

Office PrankI’m a planner…a list-maker extraordinaire. At work, I’m known for my broad use of sticky notes, so much so that the other day I found my office covered in notes, a joke from a supportive friend and coworker.

My expectations are so regularly thwarted by the not-unwelcome interference of life in family and community, that I’m slowly learning to relax and enjoy each moment as it comes, whether its on my list or a curve ball from left field.

As an artist with a “day job” and young family, art usually must take a back seat. I don’t have as much time as I used to for reflective, (I won’t even try to say uninterrupted) creativity. When I encounter a long stretch without creating, my mood definitely drops and I have to find a moment for at least a quick sketch.

My baby girl is about to turn one year old; my son will be starting kindergarten at elementary school in August; my 1st grade daughter has lost four teeth and can write her own stories; I’ve been married almost 11 years to my wonderful husband. Those busy days that usurp my sticky-noted lists are bearable-and enjoyable- because I know how fast time flies.

One morning before school, an amazing teacher and friend spoke in tearful reflection about her youngest daughter in her last year of high school. She shared some very wise, yet simple words that have settled and taken root in my heart:

“I look back on when my kids were young and realize it didn’t matter if my house was clean. Time with them has gone by so fast.”

I think of those words and that emotion often. When I get frustrated by my derailed plans, or my crumby table, or the mountain of laundry, I look at my family, at the trees, at my hands, and remember that life comes as a gift to us, one day at a time.

If I don’t relish life as much as I can, as each moment passes, it seems to pass like water through my fingers.

I am thankful for this day and all that it brings; may my eyes be open to its moments, and my breath be deep enough to absorb the minutes and make them count.

“Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.” -Dean Acheson

Making a List

Making a List, charcoal and conte sketch on paper